Thursday, June 9, 2011

In which the narrator learned a very important life lesson.

The processor up in the darkroom was malfunctioning on a grand scale; it was at the point where it was emiting a nefarious grinding sound while backward Sumerian phrases flashed on the screen. Since I have a reputation for being clever (or MacGuyver), I was summoned upstairs to fix it. (Or to have my soul devoured. I don't know.)

After jiggling the film cassette it had lodged in its opening a few times, I asked my startled co-worker if he had any candles handy.

"Uh, why? I don't, but why do you need candles?"

"Because," I calmly explained. "I've never seen a processor do this before. So, we may need to do the Divine Ritual of Robocop in which -- "

"Did you just say 'Robocop'?"

"Yeah, Robocop -- "

Suddenly, the processor hummed gleefully and began to process the film as if nothing had happened.

I learned a valuable lesson. All mechanical appliances will bow before the mighty name of Robocop.

1 comment:

  1. And so it is written in the book of Murphy, chapter 12 verse 15:

    "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." spaketh Robocop

    Lets us also read of chapter 24, verse 18, where, in a moment of confusion, we hear ED-209 speak these learned words:

    "You are in direct violation of Penal Code 1.13, Section 9. You have 5 seconds to comply."

    Let us pause and reflect on these words...