The processor up in the darkroom was malfunctioning on a grand scale; it was at the point where it was emiting a nefarious grinding sound while backward Sumerian phrases flashed on the screen. Since I have a reputation for being clever (or MacGuyver), I was summoned upstairs to fix it. (Or to have my soul devoured. I don't know.)
After jiggling the film cassette it had lodged in its opening a few times, I asked my startled co-worker if he had any candles handy.
"Uh, why? I don't, but why do you need candles?"
"Because," I calmly explained. "I've never seen a processor do this before. So, we may need to do the Divine Ritual of Robocop in which -- "
"Did you just say 'Robocop'?"
"Yeah, Robocop -- "
Suddenly, the processor hummed gleefully and began to process the film as if nothing had happened.
I learned a valuable lesson. All mechanical appliances will bow before the mighty name of Robocop.
And so it is written in the book of Murphy, chapter 12 verse 15:
ReplyDelete"Dead or alive, you're coming with me." spaketh Robocop
Lets us also read of chapter 24, verse 18, where, in a moment of confusion, we hear ED-209 speak these learned words:
"You are in direct violation of Penal Code 1.13, Section 9. You have 5 seconds to comply."
Let us pause and reflect on these words...